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Oct. 24th, 2024 10:12 am
october 24 2024
i've been thinking about, like. posting here more. functionally i really like dreamwidth, and i think it'd be fun to be able to ramble about whatever i wanted. i'm not the first nor last to say that modern fandom is completely unaligned with me, and i think part of that is because of the lack of platforms where you can just... talk! i don't want to sound, like.. oh woe is me, because honestly i'm in a really good place right now, but i do lament that making fandom friends is just... so difficult now? even with very, very small fandoms i'm in... there's not a lot of socialization? and i try! but it doesn't help that, like. i hate to be like "oh i like weird porn and no one likes me" because i personally don't care, but for a lot of people that is a hard line. and of course i don't mind people setting boundaries, but people are so needlessly cruel about it.
one thing too is that i have a neocities but i don't really have the time or energy of late to make my pages look pretty. i just want to vomit words onto a post and then call it a day. and i would do that on my fandom-y sideblogs but i get so weird about like... being a perfectionist about my meta posts. i know it's all in good fun, but i really do agonize over if what i'm saying makes sense or if i'm being totally delusional about my otp making eye contact for 3 seconds. ugh. i have to unlearn shame!! i tell my friends to do that but i still struggle with it, too.
i've been writing more fic recently, though! it's been a lot of fun. i had a pretty steep writing block for the past few months, so it's been nice to find joy in writing again. the only problem is that i have so many things i want to write but not enough time... somedays i wish i could be a neet again. but then i wouldn't have money to buy merch of my little guys and girls. ohhh maybe one day i'll do like. just a masterpost of my nintama likes. just because there's such a huge cast that it's impossible to talk about who i like without it getting stupid wordy. and maybe if i'm feeling less shy i'll post it on my tumblr. we'll see.
all this to say that i may use this more frequently to talk about random things in fandom / my life.
one thing too is that i have a neocities but i don't really have the time or energy of late to make my pages look pretty. i just want to vomit words onto a post and then call it a day. and i would do that on my fandom-y sideblogs but i get so weird about like... being a perfectionist about my meta posts. i know it's all in good fun, but i really do agonize over if what i'm saying makes sense or if i'm being totally delusional about my otp making eye contact for 3 seconds. ugh. i have to unlearn shame!! i tell my friends to do that but i still struggle with it, too.
i've been writing more fic recently, though! it's been a lot of fun. i had a pretty steep writing block for the past few months, so it's been nice to find joy in writing again. the only problem is that i have so many things i want to write but not enough time... somedays i wish i could be a neet again. but then i wouldn't have money to buy merch of my little guys and girls. ohhh maybe one day i'll do like. just a masterpost of my nintama likes. just because there's such a huge cast that it's impossible to talk about who i like without it getting stupid wordy. and maybe if i'm feeling less shy i'll post it on my tumblr. we'll see.
all this to say that i may use this more frequently to talk about random things in fandom / my life.